Not a Sequel

玩游戏，飞扬的鸟成瘾者称之为“上瘾”。很讽刺的，我知道。

We here at Big Z Labs have been extremely heartbroken to discover the recent passing of Flappy Bird. We offer our condolences and wish for his relentless soul to rest in peace. Nevertheless, unknown to even the truest of Flappy Bird’s admirers is the son he had left behind to thrive in this punishing world. And this is his untold story. A story filled with courage, unmatched passion, and great adversity.

Flappy Bird Junior, much like many other sons in the world, has been raised around his father’s profession. A profession that has been in the Flappy’s family for generations; in fact, Junior’s grandfather, Flappy Bird Senior, has been crowned World Champion innumerable times in the past, but I digress. Flappy Bird Jr. must now overtake the responsibilities of the role his family has played for generations and continue to defeat the evil randomly placed green tunnels. The fate and honor of his family rests in the weightless wings of Flappy Bird Jr.

Join Flappy Bird Junior, a rude and profane teenage bird with a magnificent underbite, in his adventure through a world filled with delicious food, mean adults, and green tunnels. Unlike his father, Flappy Bird Jr. is immensely hungry (who isn’t?) and must eat various snacks in order to cover greater distances. Will you be able to fly him to heights unattainable by a mere human? Maybe, but I doubt it.

This voyage will present you with the opportunity to feel like a terrible singing national basketball player with a pizza hand auditioning for a copyrighted American reality-singing competition while becoming extremely frustrated. What sounds better than that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL.

This is a parodical work protected by the “fair use” doctrine.